the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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