we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
