this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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