Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
