Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
