So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Randomize
