that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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