Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
