'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
