Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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