he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This couple is walking their pig around campus
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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