Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
