I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
