But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
