my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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