no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
