What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so let's talk penis.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
