Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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