i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize