Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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