Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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