OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
