There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
do herpes really smell.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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