bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
