Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize