And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
