Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
