does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
