He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
