I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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