I want to have your abortion
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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