Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
