Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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