I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Drunk is not a location!
I want a musical about memes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
