so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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