Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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