Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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