this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize