I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize