You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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