i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
