his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
