dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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