Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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