New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am midnight drunk by noon
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize