You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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