Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
