i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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