wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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