I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
