I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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