I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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