I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
