When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Buhtt sex?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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