ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
