I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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